Many of us have been working on our manifestation abilities as part of stepping into our power. At times it may seem as if things just flow to us and other times it feels like what we are projecting and doing everything we can and get NOTHING. It can be really frustrating and often times we go into self-depreciation, removing ourselves from the flow, our highest source frequency.
Over the past few years, one of the main things that I had been working diligently on manifesting was my desire to teach, write and travel. I want to see the entire world, feel the energy of all these amazing places and hold workshops. In some ways I was manifesting perfectly the teaching and writing part, but the travel was missing.
I asked to be shown what I was not understanding regarding the manifestation of travel in my life one night prior to bed. One of the tools that has helped me greatly on this journey is setting an intention when I go to sleep to be shown what I am missing, what blocks I may have and even what next steps to take. Understand that when setting the intention prior to sleep it may not happen right away that you receive answers in your dreams. Have patience, what you need to know will come to you at the right time for you to understand and process the information. I do have a few clients that do not dream and for those clients I say ask to be shown what you may be missing, where you are holding resistance or where your next steps will lead in your waking moments. Spirit will oblige, we just have to remain present and aware to see the messages.
So I went to sleep with the intention of receiving greater understanding and clarity and to say spirit obliged is an understatement. I dreamed that my family traveled to India for a woman’s symposium on the rape culture that predominates so much of our world. On the way home in the airport my three daughters ages 21, 18, and 7 went ahead to get some food prior to boarding. My husband and I were nailing down arrangements when I threw a paper away that it turned out I needed. I reached into the trashcan and was immediately surrounded by police who claimed that my husband and I planted a bomb. We were held in custody but my children were allowed to leave. Fast forward 3 years, my husband and I were finally being released. My family was waiting at the airport and while I was ecstatic to see them, I felt so sad. My little one was now 10, she had changed so much as had the older girls as they were forced to take on the responsibility of their sister. Everything had changed. It was gut wrenching.
I sat up in bed just sobbing and frankly a little pissed. What was I being shown and why? I calmed myself, centered and spoke to my highest aspect who simply asked “What upset you so much about this dream?” I replied that I it was that I had missed so much, especially in the little one’s life. I missed school events, soccer games, sleepovers, birthdays and holidays. I told her that I didn’t want to miss a thing. That these years with my children are precious and I already understood how fast they go as they flew with my older two. She then explained that my wish to travel and teach workshops is a good one but that the time to pursue that with abandon is not now.
My soul knew that if I had manifested exactly what I was intending that I would have not been happy… I would have missed too much. The weight of this settled over me like a lead blanket. Thank God I didn’t get all that I had sent out to the universe for it would have left me unhappy and empty. Yes I could have begun to travel, realized it wasn’t the right time and changed course, but spirit was saving me that heart ache.
It was then that I understood truly that manifestation occurs only when what we want is in alignment with the soul. That while the human may think that they want to go down a particular path that it is in their best interest, the soul may know different. Think of the soul as a spotter during a Nascar race. The driver sees things from their perspective which is limited as they can only react to what is in front of them. They don’t realize that there is debris on the track after the next turn or that a major wreck just happened changing everything. This is where the spotter comes in, they are stationed up high so that they can see the entire track. They are in constant contact with the driver providing guidance of the road ahead.
Your soul is much like that Nascar spotter. Our job is to create and maintain the open channel of communication with our highest aspect. We each have our own way of receiving communication, but what all the ways have in common is the need to be present, aware and trusting. The trusting part can be hard because the human can get really wrapped up in ideas and wants. I really, really want to travel and teach, but the time is not now, at least not in the scope I had envisioned. If I had continued manifesting that reality I would have been shown in other ways that it is not in my highest good at this time. We have free will at all times and this makes things very interesting for all parties involved. It’s the biggest improvisation in the galaxy. Our soul may be trying to communicate that if we go down a particular road it would not be in the highest good at this time. Yet if we don’t listen and plow down that path anyway, the soul then set things up, (events, loss, contracts with others etc.) to help show us where the choice isn’t in alignment with our purest aspect. So we learn, grow and adjust our course. This is why there are no mistakes, even when we go off the intended course, we are still growing and learning, even if the lesson is to simply learn that it is ok to change your mind.
As we merge with our soul, which happens in layers, it’s not uncommon to find that your goals and dreams change. They can change in small ways and huge ones, our job is to allow ourselves the freedom to change without judgement or feeling that we have failed. Ten years ago my dream was to open a farm where at risk youth could work with animals and receive true unconditional love from them. I bought the land and within 3 months was hit by a drunk driver and seriously injured my back. I still persisted and adopted many animals all the while trying to figure out how to heal, afford the farm, and start this youth program. Nothing worked and I was in constant struggle. I walked away from the farm in 2012, I should say limped away because I was financially bankrupt, physically a mess of chronic pain and illness and emotionally I was heartbroken because I had to sell my beloved animals. It was then that I began my journey to self. Now 4 years later though the idea of animal assisted therapy is still wonderful, it is not my work. I found my calling (at least for now) and I am finding that I do not want to be responsible for animals or the work of a farm. I use to garden, preserve food and cook from scratch but these days I find myself not even wanting to cook at all. Who I am, is not who I was, and who I am now is not who I will be as I continue on this journey. I’m ever changing and expanding.
We can look at unachieved goals as a failure or we can see them as a learning opportunity. My memories from the farm are wonderful. I can’t begin to tell you how much I learned and how grateful for the experience I am. Every spring since then I can’t help but be amazed that just a few years ago I was helping goats and sheep with their births. I understand now why it didn’t work out, it was not where I was needed and it didn’t set my soul on fire as this work does. That realization has helped me to no longer view detour from the original goal as failure, after all isn’t life about finding out who we are and what really gets us?
Allow yourself to change, allow yourself to grow in all ways, and allow yourself to trust in what is happening. When we work so hard to manifest a particular outcome and nothing happens, trust that there are better things for you on the horizon. Know that your highest aspect has your back in all things, he/she is your spotter through life. Our job is to connect to the guidance and co create the world we want for ourselves.
I hope that this helps you to look at your life and manifestation in such a way that you realize that you have not failed, not even once. You are finding your way, moment by moment, step by step and there is nothing wrong with that.
Thank you to all who share this work. It means the world. Sending you all and myself all the love we can handle. <3